


You and I walk a fragile line

by imfamousisthenewfamous



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Clarke, Bellarke, Multi, New York City, Past Relationship(s), Professor Bellamy, Some Clexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-16 18:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7278556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imfamousisthenewfamous/pseuds/imfamousisthenewfamous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew it wasn’t true. He knew that there was a time when his opinion meant everything to her. He knew there was a time when she would have gone to hell and back for him if he asked her to. The last two years had been a series of very high ups and very low lows for Clarke and him, and he knew that acting like he had any opinion on her life choices would just put him right back on the roller coaster. </p><p>“Okay, Bell. Whatever you say,” Octavia stated condescendingly. “But just so you know, she isn’t really all in yet. I think she’s been waiting to hear from you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro: Where We Are Now

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So this is my first ever fanfic so please have mercy on me! I'm pretty new to this site and don't really know my way around yet but i'll figure it out! This idea came to me as I was having a throwback Taylor Swift jam session (please don't judge me) and I felt like I needed to put it out there!  
>  
> 
> This first chapter is very much an intro to the whole thing! I know it's short but it's all I really needed to set the stage for the rest of the fic! The next chapter is going to be a leap backwards to kind of explain the whole story that led up to it! Please comment/kudos if you like it and if anyone would be interested in editting I would be so appreciative! (That doubles as a warning that I had to do self-editting, which doesn't always work out well!) I hope everyone enjoys!

_**February 10, 2016 __**_ ****

“Its not like I care either way,” Bellamy says as he takes a swig of his drink. “The princess can do whatever she wants, my opinion never mattered to her anyway.” 

_******** _

He knew it wasn’t true. He knew that there was a time when his opinion meant everything to her. He knew there was a time when she would have gone to hell and back for him if he asked her to. The last two years had been a series of very high ups and very low lows for Clarke and him, and he knew that acting like he had any opinion on her life choices would just put him right back on the roller coaster.

_******** _

“Okay, Bell. Whatever you say,” Octavia stated condescendingly. “But just so you know, she isn’t really all in yet. I think she’s been waiting to hear from you.” 

_******** _

“Yeah, right.” Bellamy scoffed. “If she wanted to hear from me that badly she could have said something to me over the past two weeks.” 

_******** _

Octavia rolled her eyes. “You can’t be serious. You’re the one that drove her away, Bellamy. Even I can’t defend you on that one. You might as well have put her on an express train out of your life. Do you expect her to just turn around and forget that?"

_******** _

Bellamy’s body tensed. “You’re really going to try to blame me right now? You’re really trying to say that I’m the one who pushed her away?” He shook his head. “That’s just rich.” 

_******** _

“I just think you need to talk to her. Maybe if you just called her and asked to see her, or even if i just told her you want to talk—“ 

_******** _

“Leave it alone, O. I’m serious.” Bellamy said sternly.

_******** _

“But maybe if she heard it from me—“ 

_******** _

“Octavia,” Bellamy cut her off. “Stay out of it.” 

_******** _

His little sister swirled her drink with her straw as she nodded, looking at the ice as it made a whirlpool in her glass. He knew she would normally have no problem continuing, expressing her full opinion on the situation, but this wasn’t just any situation. This was _Clarke_. _His_ Clarke. And that subject was something even Octavia knew should be left alone. 

_******** _

They stayed at the bar for a little while longer, talking about little things, slowly catching a buzz. How Monty and Miller finally got together, how Jasper has been putting his pieces back together little-by-little after Maya, and how Raven’s physical therapy is going. Eventually, Octavia called it a night. She lived on the other end of the city and had work in the morning, but Bellamy stayed. 

_******** _

He chatted with a girl who sat next to him at the bar. She was beautiful and charming and interested, but in the back of Bellamy’s mind, there was Clarke: blonde hair piled on her head, painted smudged on her forehead and nose, tears in her bright blue eyes and a pleading look on her face.

_******** _

It hurt his heart that that was the last time he had seen her. That was the last time he heard her voice. That was the last time he felt her touch, and it was only two weeks ago. 

_******** _

Remembering Octavia’s words and with a little help from the alcohol, Bellamy found himself outside of the bar with his finger lingering over Clarke’s contact in his phone and pressing down. Of course it went straight to voicemail, fast enough for him to know she saw him calling and ignored it, but that didn’t stop him. 

_******** _

“Clarke, its me. I think we need to talk, so I’m coming over. See you in a bit, Princess.” And with that, he took off towards her apartment. 

_******** _

  
~ ~ ~

_******** _

 

_******** _

Clarke listened to the voicemail three times before she completely understood what was about to happen. Bellamy was coming to her. Bellamy, who she hadn't seen or heard from in two weeks even though he was easily her best friend in the world, was coming to her apartment. And she didn't know if she the feeling she had in her stomach was one of excitement or dread. 

_******** _

Her first reaction was to call him back. To demand that he not come to see her because after all, he’s the one that stormed out. He’s the one that couldn’t handle what her life was. He let his pride get in the way of everything they could have been. He let his rumors and speculation come between them instead of trusting her. 

_******** _

After contemplating all of this for twenty minutes, Clarke decided she was going to tell him he couldn’t come. But as she was going to, her apartment bell rang. Frustration ran through her body as she came to the realization that he was coming from The Ark, their favorite bar. It was much closer to her apartment than Bellamy’s place was, so it made sense that that’s where he was coming from.

_******** _

Knowing she couldn’t exactly leave him standing outside on the coldest January night they’ve had so far, she reluctantly pushed the button unlocking the front door and braced herself for a fight. When she heard his knock at the door, she slowly made her way over and opened it.

_******** _

She was taken aback by him. It had only been two weeks, but it felt like a lifetime. His hair was longer and he had stumble on his chin. He was wearing his glasses and a grey peacoat, nose and cheeks red from the harsh wind. 

_******** _

Her breath caught as she said his name. 

_******** _

“Bellamy.” 

_******** _

“Princess.” 

_******** _


	2. Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes out for her birthday and meets a certain someone for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! So I know I kind of started this fic and then bailed out, but I went on vacation in Ireland for 9 days and didn't have my laptop with me! Anyway, I decided that I was going to make this a flashback fic, and every chapter will switch off being a "then" and a "now." I updated the first chapter to make it clear what the timing was. So just to tell you, this chapter is happening two years before the intro! I hope you all like it! All feedback is great!

_December 31, 2013: New Year’s Eve_

_Clarke’s Apartment, 10 P.M._

 

To say that Clarke didn’t want to go to the club was an understatement. Well, actually, it was the understatement of the century. Not only did Clarke not want to go to the club, she didn’t even want to leave her apartment. 

 

It had been less than 12 hours since she found out about Finn and his other girlfriend. It had been less than 8 hours since she found out it was her super nice neighbor, Raven. It had been exactly 6 hours since Clarke and Raven had buried themselves under the comforter of Clarke’s bed with two pints of Ben & Jerry’s and “Desperate Housewives” playing on Clarke’s TV.

 

Weirdly enough, Clarke and Raven felt no resentment towards each other. Somehow, both of their reactions were to immediately comfort the other, which let to the pity party Octavia Blake walked in on. 

 

“Clarke?” Octavia said softly. “Have you overdosed on sugar yet or are you still kicking?” She slowly opened the door of Clarke’s bedroom and peaked in.

 

“We aren’t there yet but I thinking I can hear my heart rate slowing,” Clarke popped her head out from the covers.

 

“We?” Octavia asked.

 

“Yes, we,” Raven responded, coming out from the covers herself. “I’m Raven, Finn’s _other_ girlfriend.”

 

Clarke looked at her “No, I think you dating him first means that I’m technically his other girlfriend. You’re just his _girlfriend_ girlfriend.”

 

“Actually, I’m his former _girlfriend_ girlfriend and you’re his former _other_ girlfriend.” Raven and Clarke high-fived.

 

“I hate to break up this super weird love fest, but Clarke, we’re supposed to be at Polis in like an hour and you’re supposed to be ready, like, now.” Octavia said, stepping fully into Clarke’s room wearing a tight black strapless dress and purple stilettos. It was only then that Clarke realized…

 

“Oh shit, it’s New Year’s Eve,” Clarke groaned. “O, I love you but please don’t make me go. That the last place I should be right now.”

 

Octavia flipped the light on and made her way to Clarke’s closet. “That’s really funny, but you’re going to come. And you’re going to have fun. After all, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” She winked and started shuffling through Clarke’s clothes, settling on a royal blue one-shoulder dress that she knew hugged Clarke’s curves and brought out her eyes.

 

“Octavia, please. I really don’t want to go, besides Raven is here.” 

 

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Raven can obviously come, too! Its not like she’s a total stranger to our friends, besides you could both use a distraction from this whole situation.”

 

Raven scooted up a bit so she was leaning against Clarke’s headboard. “I’m so in. If there’s one thing that can get my mind off Finn, it’s tequila shots with that hot new bartender.” She began to climb from the bed.

 

“Traitor,” Clarke groaned as she reluctantly got out of bed. “Fine O, I’ll go with you but I’m only staying until midnight then I’m coming home.”

 

Octavia grinned and hugged Clarke. She then ran into Clarke’s living room and began blasting music through the apartment. 

 

“Oh, and one more thing Clarkey,” Octavia smiled mischievously. “I brought you something extra special for your outfit!” She pulled a tiara and a sash out of her bag and Clarke shook her head ferociously.

 

“Octavia, absolutely not!”

 

Raven saw the accessories and looked to Clarke. “HOLY SHIT, CLARKE! HOW DID YOU NOT TELL ME IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?!”

 

~~~

Clarke looked at herself in the rearview mirror as the cab dropped them in front of Polis. Her hair was up in a pony tail with a few loose pieces framing her face. She was wearing a royal blue strapless dress that Octavia basically forced her into. She donned the tiara and sash that Octavia brought for her and all she could think was how absolutely ridiculous she looked.

 

Raven and Octavia’s laughter pushed her out of her thoughts, and Octavia began tugging her arm.

 

“Come on, Birthday Girl! We’re here!” Her best friend called, dragging her out of the car. “I can’t wait for you to meet my brother! Bellamy’s finally going to be here for the night and I’m pretty sure he thinks you don’t exist because you’ve never met.”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Octavia, I’m not really in the mood to be meeting anyone tonight. You’re brother will probably think I’m such a drag if he meets me right now.”

 

“Oh, stop. Once you see everyone and start drinking you’ll be totally fine!” Octavia exclaimed.

 

Raven nodded. “Exactly. Clarke, I know this day has been awful, but we deserve to have fun and at least try to forget about how horrible it is. It’s New Year’s Eve _and_ your birthday! This night is all about new beginnings and starting over.” Raven gave her a nudge.

 

Clarke sighed. “Okay, fine. I guess I can at least attempt to have a good time. But Octavia, you’re buying my first round.”

 

Octavia nodded and pulled both girls inside.

 

Clarke’s ears immediately filled with the sounds of a loud bass and drunk girls screaming and laughing. All three girls immediately headed to the bar to get drinks and find their friends. 

 

After ordering a round, Clarke and Octavia leaned against the bar to scope out their group. Raven had drifted to another part of the bar where the new bartender, Roan, was giving her tequila shots on the house that she was taking happily. 

 

Octavia looked at her phone and back at Clarke, “I have to go see if I can find my brother. Keep looking for Miller and Monty, I’ll be back soon.” Octavia kissed her cheek and walked away. 

 

Clarke nodded and began looking around again when she made eye contact with a pair of chocolate brown eyes in the crowd. He had curly dark brown hair and freckles speckled along his face. A smirk played across his lips and Clarke found herself blushing and looking away quickly, but she felt his eyes stay on her.

 

As she tried to find somewhere else to focus her attention, she saw someone beginning to move toward her. The chin-length brown hair and puppy eyes made her stomach drop and she began to feel panic set into her bones. She tried to act like she didn’t see him, grabbing her drink and trying to calmly walk in the other direction. 

 

She felt a soft grip fall on her arm, but she refused to turn around.

 

“Clarke,” she heard Finn say. “Please just talk to me. Hear me out.”

 

Clarke shook her head, willing herself to turn around. “You don’t deserve that.”

 

Finn’s head dropped at her words. “Clarke, I never meant to hurt you. I love you. You know I love you.”

 

Clarke began to hear the countdown to midnight: 30…29…28…

 

“You don’t love me, Finn,” she said, fighting back tears. “You never did.”

 

27…26…25…

“Clarke, don’t say that. We’re supposed to end up together. We were supposed to be here tonight. Come on, Princess.”

 

24…23…22…

 

Clarke flinched.

 

21…20…19…

 

She looked up at him. “You broke my heart. And now I’m here with someone else.”

 

18…17…16…

 

Clarke quickly found the curly brown hair again and took off as Finn shouted at her to come back. 

 

15…14…13…

 

She tapped the other man’s arm, and gasped slightly as she saw him up close.

 

12…11…10…

 

“I know this is weird, but I just need you to go with it, okay?” She said quickly.

 

9…8…7…

 

The man looked at her questioningly as her arms went around his neck.

 

6…5…4…

 

“Just go with it,” She whispered.

 

3…2…1…

 

She went on her toes and kissed him, very softly. She felt the confusion on his lips when he didn’t kiss her back. She released from him and looked around at the confetti falling and the couples around them. She saw that Finn was still watching her, and he looked defeated.

 

She turned back to thank the man and suddenly his lips were on hers again, and she found herself kissing him back. His lips were firm against hers and he began coaxing her mouth open with his tongue and she obliged. The kissed lick this, all heat and passion, for what felt like forever.

 

When they finally released from each other, Clarke was flushed, lips swollen. “Um, well, thank you…for, um… the help.” 

 

The man before her smirked. “Hey, anytime, Princess.”

 

Clarke felt anger rise in her. “What did you call me?”

 

The man put his hands up. “Woah, calm down. You’re wearing a tiara, it was a joke.”

 

Clarke felt herself relax, and she chuckled softly. “Oh, right, duh. Well, my name is actually-“

 

“CLARKE!” She was cut off by the sound of Octavia. “Clarkey, I found everyone!” She looked over at the man. “Oh, and you met Bellamy!”

 

Clarke felt her face turn bright red as her and Bellamy exchanged mutually surprised looks. 

 

“Well, yeah,” Clarke said. “I suppose I have.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on, Princess,” she heard Bellamy say. “It’s not that hard.” His voice was condescending and pestering and she looked over at him, eyes cold.
> 
> “It is hard, actually,” she said, her voice firm.
> 
> “What do you really have to complain about? Your perfect apartment? Your perfect childhood? Oh, how about your perfect job?”
> 
> “Bellamy,” she heard Octavia say defensively. Clarke’s blood began to boil under her skin.
> 
> “No, I want to know exactly what her highness has to complain about. I mean, obviously we all know about the Finn thing, but I just don’t think there’s anything you can really complain about that mommy and daddy couldn’t fix if you wanted them to.” His voice was aggressive now, taunting.
> 
> “Bellamy, enough,” Octavia said again. But it was too late.
> 
> Clarke took a deep breath, stood up from the couch, poured a shot of tequila and raised it up. “Let’s see, what do I have to complain about?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this took so long, but I've been dealing with such horrible writers block. So this chapter took a lot of work and I hope everyone likes it! Thank you all for the support! Be sure to leave kudos and comments, I'm all for constructive criticism if there's something you don't like!! Enjoy!

**_January 2016_ **

**_Clarke’s Apartment: 1:30 A.M._ **

 

Clarke took in the sight of him for what felt like forever. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that she realized she had been blocking him from entering the apartment. She moved to the side, allowing him to walk in.

“For a second, I thought you were going to slam the door in my face, Princess.” Bellamy tried to joke, but Clarke heard the catch in his voice; the hesitation that, in the back of his mind, he thought she actually might.

Before she could catch herself, Clarke heard herself say “Well, that’s actually your specialty.”

Bellamy’s face seemed to drop at her comment, but his face went from shock and sadness to resentment and anger quickly, but he tried to keep himself in check. 

“I didn’t come here to fight with you, Clarke. I really didn’t.” He said, but it was forced and she knew it.

“Okay, fine. Then can I ask why you are here?” She said as she closed the door. She turned around slowly to face him, almost afraid he wouldn’t actually be there.  

Bellamy sighed and ran his hand swiftly through his hair. “You can, but I don’t know that I have a valid answer for you,” He said. His voice was soft and tentative, like he was tiptoeing around a sleeping giant that he didn’t want to disturb.

“Okay, well, I’m sure this might be a hard concept for your drunk mind to grasp but it is actually 1:30 A.M. and some of us have to be up early so, if you don’t mind…” She went to unlock the door and open it again when she felt Bellamy behind her inch the door back closed. Her breathe hitched slightly as she turned and put both hands on his chest, pushing him away lightly. “I can’t think with you that close to me.”

Bellamy smirked slightly, almost sadly, but stayed where she had pushed him. “I came here for a reason,” he said, slowly. “I was just at the bar with Octavia and—”

Clarke’s head snapped up and she felt a wave of dread wash over her. Octavia told him. And now he was here to tell her how he felt about it. 

“And what did Octavia say to you or…tell you?” Clarke asked inquisitively.

Bellamy sighed, dropping his head slightly. “She said that you might be waiting to hear from me about, you know, everything. That I might be the reason you haven't fully made a decision.” His words softened Clarke, and she looked up at him as he continued. “So I just have to know why you’re making me feel responsible for whatever decision you make. I mean, really Clarke? This isn’t a decision for me to make for you or, as you made perfectly clear, for us to make together.”

 

_Together._

 

That word echoed in her mind, bringing her back in time. 

 

_Together._

 

**_February 1, 2014_ **

**_Octavia Blake’s Semi-Annual “Life’s Tough, Get A Helmet” Party_ **

 

Clarke plopped onto Octavia’s couch in between Miller and Monty and groaned.

“How is it that it’s been two year’s and Octavia is still making us do these? As if all of us getting together and complaining about our problems really helps at all?” Clarke complained.

Miller just put his arm around Clarke and sighed, “Well, you see, Clarke, its not the talking that makes us feel better, its the tequila. 

“And the weed.” Monty chimed in.

“And hearing about how fucked up everyone else is makes us feel better in comparison,” Clarke heard a voice say from the doorway. She looked up to see Bellamy leaning against the door frame, smirking at her. “Besides, Princess, what could you really have to complain about.” 

Clarke looked up and sneered, “Case and point.” 

Ever since their discover on New Year’s, Clarke and Bellamy have avoided talking about the whole make-out thing. Clarke figured this would be easier since it had taken her a year to meet Bellamy anyway so she probably wouldn’t be seeing him much anyway, right?

 

Wrong.

 

Much to Clarke’s luck, Bellamy had decided to quit his job in Philly and move to New York, he and Octavia decided to rent together until they could both manage well enough on their own. So now, they were seeing a lot of each other.

The longer they spent with each other, the more they got on each other’s nerves, and the more they bickered. The fought about everything, from Clarke’s favorite book to Bellamy’s favorite artist. The most prominent thing they fought about, though, was Clarke’s background.  

Bellamy was always poking at Clarke for how she grew up: with her mother being a famous doctor and her father a renowned engineer. She grew up in a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood in Virginia, but Clarke had left it all behind. Had left her mother behind because she couldn’t deal with the false reality she had painted around herself after her father’s death. She had cut herself off from her former life in every way, and was broken by it. But she would never let him know that. 

Bellamy put on a face of mocked hurt, “Are you saying I’m a reason you complain? I’m heartbroken.”

As Clarke was about to respond, Octavia came in from the kitchen, followed by Jasper, Harper, Raven and Murphy. “Okay, you two, put your claws away, we’re going to be civil tonight.” She placed two bottles of tequila and two bottles of vodka on the table, along with two six packs of beer and a bright blue bicycle helmet.

“So, who here is familiar with the ‘L.T.G.H.’ party?” She asked the crowd, most people raised their hands, with the exception of Raven and Bellamy. 

Octavia nodded. “Okay, so here’s how it goes: Everyone gets a shot glass and a beer. We spin one of the bottles to see who will go first. If the bottle lands on you, you have the floor to complain about something happening in your life, it can be relationship problems, friend problems, work, family, anything. The rest of the group will then decide if its a problem worthy of a shot of tequila, vodka, or beer. Once everyone complains about one thing, there is then a vote about whose complaint was the most valid, and whose was the least. The one whose complaint was the least valid wears this” she picked up the helmet, “blue helmet for the whole next round and has to match the drink everyone receives for their complaint. The one whose problem was voted most valid gets to choose everyone’s drinks for that round.” 

Raven raises her hand. “So basically, we’re all just going to get monumentally fucked up to forget about our problems?”

Octavia laughed and nodded, “Yes, essentially that’s the plan. So is everyone good?” The group nodded. “Okay, there’s only one more thing: if there is anyone who would rather not play and only drink, or would only like to participate a certain number of time, that’s fine, too. This whole night is about opening up to us as your friends, we don’t want anyone to feel differently about that.” 

“Okay, let’s get started!” Clarke said and spun the bottle. The first spin landed on Monty.

Monty nodded. “So, this month I was accused of hacking into the security footage at work to delete evidence of myself stealing money from the bar, and to clear my name I hacked into the security footage to retrieve the missing footage, and then I was demoted to bar-back because the real thief was the bosses daughter.”

There was a mixture of responses ranging from “Dude, that blows” to “But is his daughter hot?” before everyone agreed that was worthy of a shot of vodka.

The majority of complaints were mellow: Harper was upset because Monroe stood her up on their anniversary (vodka), Miller was mad because his captain was on him for not being able to crack a drug case he’d been working on for 3 months (tequila), Murphy was pissed cause his motorcycle got towed (beer) , Octavia was sad because she felt she found someone really special but was afraid to introduce him to certain people (tequila), Raven went off about the new guy at her work who wouldn’t take no for an answer (vodka, but she had tequila anyway because ‘I want to get fucked up, dammit’), Jasper said he had nothing to complain about this time and toasted to all the group as he took a shot of vodka.

When it was Clarke’s turn, she hesitated. She had so many things running through her mind. Finn, her job, her mom…

“Come on, Princess,” she heard Bellamy say. “It’s not that hard.” His voice was condescending and pestering and she looked over at him, eyes cold.

“It is hard, actually,” she said, her voice firm. 

“What do you really have to complain about? Your perfect apartment? Your perfect childhood? Oh, how about your perfect job?” 

“ _Bellamy,_ ” she heard Octavia say defensively. Clarke’s blood began to boil under her skin.

“No, I want to know exactly what her highness has to complain about. I mean, obviously we all know about the Finn thing, but I just don’t think there’s anything you can really complain about that mommy and daddy couldn’t fix if you wanted them to.” His voice was aggressive now, taunting. 

“ _Bellamy, enough,_ ” Octavia said again. But it was too late. 

Clarke took a deep breath, stood up from the couch, poured a shot of tequila and raised it up. “Let’s see, what do I have to complain about? Well, let’s start with being the other woman to a boyfriend who was dating one of the nicest, most beautiful humans I’ve ever met.” She tipped the shot towards Raven and threw it back. 

She poured another. “Now, let’s move onto my ‘perfect apartment.’ My perfectly shitty 6 floor walk-up, with mice under the floorboards, cockroaches in the shower, mold in the fridge and a roommate who steals all my shit.” She takes the shot.

“Now, onto my ‘perfect childhood,’ shall we?” She pours a third shot and raises it up. “I grew up in a beautiful house in Virginia with my mother and father. My mother who was a doctor and was never home, and my father who was an engineer who would always work in his office so I wasn’t alone.” Her voice caught. 

“Clarke,” she heard Octavia say, but she shook her head. 

“My father… who was in a car crash on his way home from the hospital where he found out my mother was having an affair when I was 15. The same hospital he was taken for surgery, where the man my mother was sleeping with operated on him. The same hospital where he died on the table from internal bleeding. The same hospital I would, just 6 months later, learn that my best friend had also been killed in a car crash.” She took the third shot and poured a fourth.

The room grew silent. Clarke could hear everyone holding their breath. They all knew this, all of them except Bellamy. With the exception of Raven, these people had known Clarke since she moved to New York at 18. 

Clarke continued, “My ‘perfect childhood’ then ended with me studying my ass off so I could get a full scholarship to school in New York. I hopped on a bus here after getting my acceptance and haven’t spoken to my family since.” She took the shot. 

“I guess the only thing you were right about, Bellamy, is that I can’t complain about my job, because I work at the Met and it’s pretty fucking awesome,” she smiled sarcastically. “But, this shot, this one is just for you. Another unwelcome piece of my life for me to complain about.” She took the shot, grabbed her coat and went for the door. “Bye, guys.” She said and slammed the door behind her. 

 

~~~

 

Bellamy felt the stares of all of their friends as the door slammed behind Clarke. His eyes were fixed on the ground. _Shit,_ he thought, _how was I supposed to know that?_

“Well? Are you just going to sit there or are you going to go apologize?” Octavia asked him. 

Bellamy looked at his sister. “O, I highly doubt I’m the person she would want to see. Can you just go and tell her I’m sorry? I didn’t know, okay?” 

Raven stood up. “It doesn’t matter if you didn’t know. You pushed her, it’s up to you to own up to it. You’re mistakes are your own to correct.” 

Bellamy looked around for any sign of support, but all he got were eyes averted to the ground. “Guys, help me out here. I didn’t know, and she just totally snapped.” 

Murphy looked up at him, resigned. “Dude, I don’t even like Clarke that much but that was way harsh.”

Bellamy sighed and got up, defeated. When Murphy disapproved of your actions, you know you fucked up. “Fine, I’ll go, but if I get slapped I blame you all, even if I do deserve it.” He walked out the door. 

 

~~~

The air was cold when Bellamy opened the main door of the building. He shivered, silently cursing himself for not grabbing his coat on the way out. He began looked around and saw Clarke’s silhouette coached down against the building, arms crossed and knees shaking. 

He walked over cautiously, careful not to approach too quickly.

“Uh, Prin- Clarke,” he caught himself. “I came here to apologize, I didn’t know about any of that…” He trailed off, waving his hand towards Octavia’s apartment window.

Clarke immediately froze, and looked up at him. He saw the red streaks down her cheeks and her swollen eyes, and felt ashamed that he had caused it. Sure, he hadn’t know anything about what her past was like and couldn’t have know, but he felt it either way. 

Clarke brushed the tears with the back of her gloved hand and rose up. “Yeah, well, now you do, so maybe now you can cool it with all the ‘princess’ bullshit.”

“That I can’t promise, it’s practically become a habit now.” Bellamy joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Whatever, Bellamy.” She turned and began walking towards her apartment swiftly. 

Bellamy caught up with her, grabbing her hand lightly. “Clarke…” She turned slowly, looking at her hand in his, and then looked up at him. His breath hitched when he touched her, and he released her hand quickly, composing himself. “Look, I’m really sorry, okay? I know how it feels when someone judges you without really knowing you, and it sucks.”

Clarke’s eyebrow kinked. “Okay… so why would you do that?”

Bellamy sighed and rubbed his face. “I don’t know, okay? I guess when Octavia told me where you were from I jumped to conclusions, and those conclusions made me think that you could give Octavia things that I couldn’t. And it made me feel like I couldn’t provide for her.” 

Clarke looked at him and chuckled. She actually _chuckled_. Chuckled at one of Bellamy’s biggest worries. Bellamy frowned and backed away. “Just forget it.’

Clarke composed her self. “Wait, no, no. I just, it’s funny because you’re worried about Octavia getting used to me helping her out financially, but she’s actually the one who helps me budget all my money.” She chuckled again. 

Bellamy looked at her and laughed as well. “Okay, I understand why its funny then.” 

Her laughing died down, and she suddenly became silent. "I have no idea what I'm doing." She spoke softly, so softly he could hardly hear her.

"What do you mean?" He asked. 

"I mean, here," She sighed. "I have no idea what I'm doing here. In this city. My apartment is shit, and I love my job but it just doesn't pay me enough. I'm hardly getting by and I can't go to my mom because she'll have some kind of proposition for me like I'll have to go back to med school, and to top it off I'm venting about it to you, who probably couldn't care less." 

"Hey, listen. I know you're not my biggest fan, and maybe we'll never be best buddies. But if you need help, I can help you. You're important to Octavia, and Octavia is important to me. And what you're doing here is making something of yourself. Something that's completely separate from all the bullshit of your past. And that's pretty badass. So if you ever need someone to help you figure out your next move, you can come to me and we can figure it out. Together."

Clarke looked up at him. "Together? You'd really do that even though we can't be around each other for more than 10 minutes without fighting?"

Bellamy smirked. "Well, we've actually broken that record out here, but yeah."

Clarke looked at him. "Okay, something is about to happen here, but if you tell anyone about it, I will deny it." She stepped closer to him, stood on her toes and gave him a quick hug. "Maybe you're not so bad, Bellamy Blake."

When she stepped back, Bellamy looked at Clarke. Her hair was coming down in loose waves under her beanie, a few strands blowing across her face. Without thinking, he reached out and brushed one away from her face, his hand resting on her cheek. Her breath caught as she looked at him, mouth opening slightly, and he remembered when they kissed on New Year’s. Remembered how her lips tasted, how her body felt pressed against his…

He looked away quickly, his hand dropping. "Uh... we should get back inside. It's freezing out here and Octavia will be pissed if I come back without you."

He thought he saw something that looked like disappointment flash across Clarke's face, but it passed quickly. "That's true. Plus, I couldn't possible miss hearing what the Great Bellamy Blake has to complain about tonight."

They walked back up the stairs to the door of the building and rang for Octavia’s apartment. As they waited for the response, Bellamy looked at Clarke. “I really am sorry for what I said.”

Clarke looked at him, a warm smile on her lips. “I know you are, and you’re forgiven.”

Bellamy smirked as the door buzzed, unlocking. “Thank you very much,” He pushed the door open. “After you… _Princess_.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at him and pushed his chest lightly as she walked past him. He followed after her, both trying to wipe the dopey smiles off their faces before they were at Octavia’s door.

 

_** Present: January 2016 ** _

_** Clarke's Apartment 1:30 A.M. ** _

“Clarke, are you even listening to me?” Bellamy asked, frustrated.

Clarke looked at him, letting the memory fade away. They weren’t the same people as they were that night. That night that held so much respect and promise for their relationship, before they even had one. 

“Yeah, you said that _I_ made it clear it wasn’t a decision we were making together. But that’s where you’re wrong. _You_ decided.” She spoke softly, partially because she didn’t want to argue and partially because she knew this conversation would shatter her, and maybe if they didn’t yell she wouldn't break as easily. 

Bellamy scoffed. “That’s rich, Clarke. Act like I’m the reason this is all happening. _You’re_ the one that wasn’t honest with me. _You’re_ the one that chose to edge me out.”

Clarke could feel herself tense. “Bellamy, I don’t want to have this conversation right now, okay? I _can’t_ have this conversation right now.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Oh, really, Clarke? You _can’t_ or you _won’t_?” 

“Both.”

Bellamy scoffed again. “And why, pray tell, _can’t_ you have this conversation right now?”

Clarke could feel her voice shake as she spoke, and saw Bellamy’s face register her words.

“Because,” she said, looking up at him. “Today is Wells’ birthday.” 

 


End file.
